Welcome to your May issue of Connections, The American Fertility Association’s monthly e-newsletter. In this issue, you’ll find:

1. Message from the Executive Director
2. infocus magazine
3. Fertility Dream
4. The Adoption Option: Adopted from Brooklyn, USA!
5. In My Opinion: It Takes A Village-embrace hiring legal counsel
6. Support Services
   1. Ovum Donation Seminar Series
   2. When Enough is Enough – Free Teleconference Coaching Group
   3. West Coast Programs
7. Stay Connected

A Message from the Executive Director

Pamela Madsen

Dear Friend of The AFA, Wow! What an exciting time at The American Fertility Association! On May 7th at the Grand Hyatt Hotel in New York City over 500 of you joined us at our National Conference - Family Matters - the largest fertility and adoption conference in the country. You attended over forty workshops presented by over ninety expert faculty members. You talked with over sixty exhibitors and listened to eight fantastic keynote addresses-and that was all in just one day. In Los Angeles on May 13th, The AFA’s national spokesperson, Brenda Strong, actress and Desperate Housewives star hosted Illuminations, a celebrity-studded event to honor Jo Champa, Italian Film Star and World Fertility Awareness Month Chairwoman, Andrew Vorzimer, Esq. CEO, Egg Donation, Inc. and a partner, in the law firm of Vorzimer Masserman, and Cappy M. Rothman, MD, the Co-founder and Medical Director California Cryobank. And just when we were getting ready to take a break, World Fertility Awareness Month (WorldFAM)-a global movement to unite patient organizations around positive and inclusive language-kicks off at the beginning of June! We have received the support of over a dozen patient organizations that have joined our newly formed WorldFAM Advisory Committee. As AFA Board Member, Dan Becker reminds us (in his article in this issue of Connections), family building can be like a roller coaster. We hope The American Fertility Association helps you manage that roller coaster. We want to help you embrace the possibilities for family building and convey a sense of hope-whether you are struggling with reproductive challenges, looking for ways to preserve fertility, or are building families through adoption. We are here to help you-individuals or couples-who seek education and support – it is the core of our mission. So log in on any Tuesday night for an Online Education Session, download a copy of our latest issue of inFocus (this one looks at PCOS at all ages and stages), call into a coaching group, or attend one in person-on either coast-or simply click on www.theAFA.org – to learn about all the services and activities we've provide. Education and support is just a click away. Warm Regards, Pamela

Fertility Dream

Join the American Fertility Association at the Fertility Dream races/walks in your area.

The Fertility Dream is breaking new ground, promoting health and a sense of community within the fertility community and our supporters nationwide. Our 2006 goal is to build fertility awareness and raise research and advocacy funds. Remember, "Together we can do what we can't do alone.”

Anyone can participate in the Fertility Dream races and walks, no matter you age or fitness level: fitness enthusiast elite runners, and even those who have never participated in a race before. The AFA can help find a pace that is right for you. Click here for more information and to register.

Support the Fertility Dream 2006 races/walks near you:

Anyone raising $5,000 or more in pledges will receive an all-expense paid trip to a Fertility Dream race: round-trip airfare, two nights lodging, meals and race entry. Please visit the American Fertility Association web site for details or call 888 917-3777 to register or donate.

[back to top]

The Adoption Option
Adopted from Brooklyn, USA!

By: Sarah Gerstenzang, M.S.W. Assistant Director; Adopt-Us-Kids

When I went to pick out our adoption announcements at my local stationary store, the woman helping me asked what country my daughter was from. I replied, “She was born right here in Brooklyn!”

Prospective adoptive parents often overlook our own public child welfare system as a means to form a family -- perhaps reflecting stereotypes held over from the days when government systems didn’t recognize the need for and actively promote a “forever family” for every waiting child. Here are some common questions that prospective adoptive parents ask:

[back to top]

In My Opinion
It Takes A Village-embrace hiring legal counsel!

By Daniel Becker, Esq. Board Member, The American Fertility Association

CAVEAT EMPTOR – let the buyer beware…

A diagnosis of infertility-or “fertility impairment”-conjures up much confusion, especially in those who care about us most. The path to resolution-with or without success-can consume our time and be physically, emotionally and financially draining. Many have compared the process to riding a “roller-coaster”. There can be great anticipation and anxiety as you are locked into the ride and forced-without advance warning-to experience the extreme rise and long drop, slow and fast movement and a circular path without knowing where the beginning ends, and where the end begins.

Family building is no longer relegated to “baby making sex” between husband and wife. The development and continuous refinement of assisted reproductive technologies (“ART”) pushes traditional comfort zones as well as societal and religious mores. It is now possible to separate sexuality from reproduction and reproduction from parenting; there is no longer any assumption of biological connectedness to maternity.

Medical and scientific developments have pushed the ART envelope, providing individuals and couples with the potential-although not always the opportunity or means to a desired end. The legal principles and laws we are governed by are not uniform and have generally not kept pace with scientific endeavors. Conflicts exist between Federal and state laws, as well as state to state interpretations of the rules, regulations, statutes and laws concerning a multitude of inter-twining legal principles of “parenthood.” In addition and perhaps most important, how something is defined or understood may be different depending on which, where, when, or on whom ART is used. In effect, what one would presume as being black or white is more often grey when looking at what is legal or not legal, protected or not protected property or not property.

We tend to seek counsel from anyone except lawyers who specialize in this area of law. It is more common than not to be advised by the well-intentioned-after all “Joe’s cousin’s best friend’s daughter-in-law also had ‘difficulties’ and was told by her mother’s dentist to ‘just take a vacation and relax’ – and you know it worked just like a charm.” Great advice and a great outcome! But for those not as ‘lucky’ we often times have to convince the well-intentioned that perhaps it would be a good idea to seek advice from an attorney. But wait, your best friend’s son’s kindergarten teacher tells you that he/she can advise you without charging you a fee or your sister tells you that you should talk with the attorney who represented her when she bought her house.

The avoidance of legal counsel may be self-protectionism or perhaps an attempt to limit financial exposure in an already expensive process. In the traditional sense, when one decides to have a child the actual costs to have one is a non-issue. This is not the case when using of ART, surrogacy or adoption. Here all of the costs must be factored, so that an informed decision to proceed with building a family can even be made.

In an attempt to find “normalcy”, we tend not to want to seek professional legal help on perhaps the most important and personal decision we will ever make-to engage in family building. Seeking legal help seems to trigger a “no turning back stance” and it is put off for as long as possible if at all.

However, by engaging independent competent legal counsel earlier rather than later, the many anxieties and fears associated with the use of ART, surrogacy or adoption can be laid aside sooner. The role of an attorney is to represent your interests and attempt to “level the playing field.” As a practical example, you decide that you will use ART in a hospital program. Upon consultation, you are asked to not only pay in advance but are told that you must sign consent forms. While putting your trust in the care of your health care providers are your legal rights protected? Are you advised to have an attorney review the very consent forms you are told to sign? Have you ever read them? To whose benefit are they written?

While hospital consents are intended to inform “the patient,” they are most importantly intended to protect the hospital, doctors and their staff, not the patient. An attorney will not have the power to change these consents but he/she can at least explain what the consents mean and how they can affect possible future events.

Despite the fact that we are engaging health care professionals and therefore they should “be working for us” ART is not a product per se. We need to remember the old Latin phrase: “Caveat Emptor – let the buyer beware.” We need to be able to understand the risks as well as the benefits. The law never forgives ignorance, and it is never a defense.

Hiring a lawyer who is familiar with these issues is like buying insurance. It provides peace of mind to the “what ifs.” But do not think that you can just hire any kind of attorney. I have heard more than a few times that it does not matter what kind of attorney one hires. Do you think that is also true when it comes to choosing a doctor? Would you want to have an orthopedist perform an insemination? Get a referral and make an educated decision – you can always start with seeking information from The American Fertility Association whose principal mission is to be your advocate.

[back to top]

Ovum Donation Seminar Series
Spring/Summer 2006

The American Fertility Association is sponsoring a six week Ovum Donation Seminar Series beginning Wednesday May 31st and continuing weekly for six consecutive weeks. The seminar is designed to educate attendees about all aspects of ovum donation. Topics that will be discussed by our distinguished faculty will include:

MAY 31 PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES- IS THIS OPTION RIGHT FOR YOU?
Speakers: Helaine Rosenberg, PhD & Yakov Epstein, PhD, Psychologists, IVF New Jersey

JUNE 7 THE MEDICAL OVERVIEW
Speaker: Joel Batzofin, MD, Medical Director SIRM, New York City

JUNE 14 FINDING A DONOR PROGRAM AND A DONOR
Speaker: Patricia Mendell, LCSW, BCD, Psychotherapist

JUNE 21 DONOR REGISTRIES AND FINDERS
Speaker: Patricia Mendell, LCSW, BCD, Psychotherapist

JUNE 28 ANONYMOUS DONORS: MATCHING AND CYCLING
Speakers: Vicki Loveland, RN Clinical Nurse Coordinator & Dan Kenigsberg, MD, Co-Director Long Island IVF

JULY 5 PANEL OF PARENTS OF OVUM DONOR CHILDREN
Speaker: Andrea Braverman, PhD, Director of Psychological & Complementary Services, RMA of New Jersey

[back to top]

Phone based tele-coaching groups provide a convenient way for you to take part in a supportive and educational group experience from the comfort of your home or work place. These groups meet for one hour via a phone bridgeline. A bridgeline allows all participants to hear and speak with each other via the telephone. No special phone is required. All groups are led by licensed mental health professionals with an expertise and often personal experience in infertility treatment and/or adoption.

West Coast Programs

Four Seminars Offered

• EGG DONATION: WORKING WITH A THIRD PARTY
• CHOOSING SINGLE PARENTING
• CREATING A SUCCESSFUL SURROGATE ARRANGEMENT
• GAY AND LESBIAN PARENTING

The American Fertility Association is sponsoring separate discussion groups for patients considering alternative family building options. The emotional, medical and practical aspects of each of these arrangements will be explored, such that prospective parents can make an informed decision about whether these plans are the “right” choice for them.

Elaine R. Gordon, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist with a specialty in reproductive medicine. She has worked in the field for twenty years helping individuals and couples build families through non-traditional options. She is the author of “Mommy, Did I Grow in Your Tummy? Where some Babies Come From”.

Ellen Speyer, M.A., M.S., MFT. is a psychotherapist with twenty years with working with assisted reproduction, pregnancy loss, surrogacy, and adoption. She is a retired Chair of the Education Committee for the Mental Health Professional Group of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.

[back to top]

Online Education Session Schedule—April – May 2006