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The American Fertility Association’s Monthly Newsletter

Nov 5, 2008

NOVEMBER IS NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH

NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH (NOV. 2008)

“You probably celebrate adoption every day in your house, but each November the rest of the country joins in for National Adoption Month. It’s a month-long campaign to create awareness of adoption issues, including a festive National Adoption Day (Nov 15th) when more than 300 events are held at courtrooms throughout the country to finalize adoptions.

While adoption of all kinds is celebrated this month, the national focus is on foster care and the 510,000 kids currently in the system—129,000 of whom are waiting for forever families. More children become available for adoption each year than are adopted. According to the U.S. department of Health & Human Services, in 2006, 79,000 children had parental rights terminated by the courts, yet only 51,000 were adopted. And each year, more than 26,000 kids age out of the system at 18.”

Source: Adoptive Family Magazine November/December 2008

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ADOPTION ADVISORY COUNCIL

November is National Adoption Month and it’s the perfect time to announce the creation of AFA’s national Adoption Advisory Council. Individuals on the AAC are committed to helping The AFA give timely, accurate adoption information to our membership. Council members’ areas of expertise include domestic and international adoption, agency adoption, independent adoption, adoption through foster care, adoption medicine, adoptive parenting, and adoption therapy. You can look forward to hearing from members of the AAC, as well as other AFA adoption supporters in the coming months.

Carolyn Berger, LCSW, AFA Adoption Coordinator, Chair
Kathy Brodsky, LCSW, Director, Ametz Adoption Program, Jewish Child Care Association
Susan Orban, Outreach & Partner Agency Coordinator, Children’s Home Society & Family Services
Sam Pitkowsky, Co-President, Adoptive Parents Committee-NYC
Denise Seidelman, Esq, Rumbold & Seidelman
Dawn Smith-Pliner, Executive Director, Friends in Adoption
Rita Soronen, Executive Director, Dave Thomas Foundation
Irene Steffas, Esq, Steffas & Associates
Michael Traister, MD, Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine

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Thinking About Adopting? The AFA Adoption Advisory Council Offers You Its Best Advice
by Carolyn N Berger, LCSW

Carolyn N. Berger, LCSW

Members of the AAC represent the myriad ways to adopt a child. The Council includes experts on domestic agency adoption, adoption through foster care, independent, and international adoption, as well as an adoption medicine specialist and a leader within a tri-state adoption support group.

Kathy Brodsky, Director, Ametz Adoption Program, Jewish Child Care Association: "Adoption works and you can succeed. For most people it's an entirely new process and it has its own language. Allow yourself to ask questions, even those you think you should know the answers to-- this is how you will gain understanding and confidence. Remember, there is no one adoption path that works for everyone. Talk to adoptive parents to get their perspectives and then consult with adoption professionals who can guide you in the right direction and help you get the legal and social services you need. Most importantly, find the route to parenting that seems right for you and go for it!"

Denise Seidelman, independent adoption attorney, Rumbold & Seidelman: "Before people commit time and resources to any one method or approach to adoption, I believe they should first obtain the guidance of experienced adoption professionals to determine the method of adoption which is appropriate for them and best-suited to their needs."

Sam Pitkowsky, Co-President, Adoptive Parents Committee-NYC: "Before you begin the adoption process you should sit down and write all your questions about the kind of child you wish to adopt-not the child you would accept, but the child you want. How old would your child be? How do you feel about particular medical issues your child might have? What about your child's ethnicity? If you are part of a couple, be sure to answer these questions separately, then come back together. Later, without any judgment, discuss your answers. The child you realize you want to adopt will help you decide which adoption path to take."

Michael Traister, MD, Associate Professor of Clinical Pediatrics, New York University School of Medicine and international adoption specialist: "It is very important to have a physician chosen as soon as you make the decision to adopt. It can be your gynecologist, internist or pediatrician. Medical records, as soon as you receive them, should be reviewed by someone familiar with such documents. This is especially important in international adoption. It will help you understand the potential risks/problems."

Irene Steffas, independent adoption attorney, Steffas & Associates: "Most people who adopt newborns have the mistaken idea that their kids are tabula rasae. Even if you bring your child home straight from the hospital you need to embrace his background. One of the issues adoptive parents don't tend to talk about is mental health issues. When they learn that there is a tendency toward a specific mental illness within a birthparent's history, this needs to be addressed. And, open adoption offers a true benefit and gift to your child because it gives you the opportunity to get to know his birthparents over time. All of this knowledge and awareness will ultimately help you become a better parent."

Rita Soronen, Executive Director of the Dave Thomas Foundation, which recruits parents for children in foster care: "Children don't need perfect parents, just loving individuals willing to meet the unique challenges of parenting and making the commitment to caring for and nurturing them. Traits like flexibility, patience, good problem-solving skills and a willingness to identify local resources are critical."

Susan Orban, Outreach and Partner Agency Coordinator, Children's Home Society & Family Services: "Remain flexible and stay persistent. Adoption is not often an easy journey, but the children who need families are worth the work to get them."

Dawn Smith-Pliner, Founder and Executive Director, Friends in Adoption: "Recognize that adoption is lifelong, not just a point in time. While most days are like any other day-whether being a parent through having given birth or by adopting--occasionally being an adoptive parent requires looking at the day through a different lens. Being an adopted person on most days is not relevant to the day's activities, but on occasion it is the focus of the whole day. And I sense that birth families feel the same way. On those 'exceptional days' it is good to know where the resources are to help make the next day just another ordinary day."

In the coming months, AFA's Adoption Advisory Council members will be focusing on their areas of expertise in greater detail.

Carolyn N Berger, LCSW, is AFA's Adoption Coordinator and Chair of the Adoption Advisory Council. Her advice: "Surround yourself with successful adoptive parents who can encourage you every step of the way in your adoption journey. Find the best adoption professionals possible, and don't hesitate to reach out for their support when needed."

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